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Your Budget
and Guest List
Before you begin planning your
wedding, you must decide on two things: your budget and the size of
your guest list. All other details will be determined by these
two factors. That's because the amount of money you have to
spend will affect the formality of the wedding, the location at
which you have it, and the number of people you can afford to invite
(the cost of food and drink at a reception is generally calculated on
a per-person basis, and this amount will be the biggest expense you
incur).
But don't make the mistake of
thinking that unless you have an extravagant budget, you can't have a
big wedding. There are many things you can do to keep the costs
down and still include the number of people you want to invite.
For example, it's less expensive to hold a wedding reception on a
Saturday or Sunday afternoon than in the evening. And Friday
night can be cheaper still. Or you might consider a
morning wedding followed by a brunch. Most banquet halls and
restaurants offer a variety of different menu options that will help
you tailor your reception as well.
If you want to go all out,
however. and have a formal black-tie wedding with an elaborate
sit-down dinner and eight-piece band, it makes sense to keep the guest
count down. The fewer people you have, the more you will be able
to "upgrade" the celebration.
Before you make any final
decisions, it's smart to talk with both of your families about your
plans. There's a good chance that each of your parents has some
preconceived ideas about your wedding, and you don't want to start out
stepping on toes.
Typical Wedding Budget
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By The Numbers
Here are some average amounts spent on weddings in the
U.S.:
Total Cost of Wedding: $20,000
Average number of guests: 188
Dress: $1,175
Veil: $150
Tuxedo rental: $75
Limo rental: $50 per hour, with a $150 minimum
Rental for reception location(does not include food or
drink):$1,500
Caterer: $75 per person (for appetizer, main course and an open
bar
serving non-premium brands)
Wedding cake: $500
Flowers: $1,000
14-piece orchestra: $2,500
Disc Jockey: About $200 per hour
Professional photographer: $3,000
Professional videographer: $850
Engagement ring (according to Modern Bride magazine): $2,760
Bride's wedding ring: $710
Groom's wedding ring: $400
Who's Paying?
There's another good reason to
include your families in this initial planning stage: They'll most
likely be contributing to the cost of the wedding.
Traditionally, the bride's family paid for the majority of the
expenses: all reception costs (food, liquor, wedding cake, music,
gratuities); the wedding invitations, postage, and related stationery
expenses; the bride's attire and trousseau; photography and
videography; ceremony and reception flowers; rental fee for ceremony
site; fees for ceremony musicians; and transportation for the bridal
party. The lucky groom's family got off with just the rehearsal
dinner, and the groom himself picked up the costs of the marriage
license, the bride's engagement and wedding rings, the honeymoon, the
bride's bouquet, corsages for the mothers, the boutonnieres, and the
ceremony officiant's fee.
Nowadays, with the costs of
weddings growing and couples marrying later (when they're more likely
to have careers and incomes of their own), more and more brides and
grooms are contributing to, or even picking up, the entire cost of the
wedding. Another popular option is to have the bride's family,
the groom's family and the couple each contribute one third.
If the wedding costs will be
shared by both families, there are some steps you can take to keep the
arrangement as tactful as possible. Rather than having to go to
your parents or his parents each time a bill comes due, you might have
each family agree to handle a certain aspect (the band or DJ, the
flowers, photography). This way each party can be billed
directly and n\money needn't change hands between family members.
Or perhaps each of the parties can write a check at the beginning for
the agreed upon amount and the two of you can open up a bank account
just for the wedding and pay the bills out of it as they arise.
Keep in Mind that money often
comes with strings attached: If you do accept financial assistance
from your parents, you will be somewhat obligated to consider their
ideas. If it creates an uncomfortable situation (say your mother will
pay for the florist only of she can pick the centerpieces), you may
want to politely decline.
Guest-List Strategies
As noted earlier, the size of your
guest list will largely affect the total cost of your wedding.
And it's a rare bride and groom - whether dealing with 30 or 300
people - who doesn't have to edit down the original list. Very
likely, several people will be helping decide who to invite - probably
you, your fiancé and both of your families - and each will have his
or her own idea about who is necessary and who can be eliminated.
To keep honing from getting too hectic, try this list-cutting
strategy.
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Have everyone involved in
the inviting submit a list of the people they'd like to attend.
They should rank the names in order of importance, starting at the
top.
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Compare the lists and cross
off any duplications
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Add up the names that are
left and compare that number with your estimated guest count
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If your count is over the
limit, determine how many names you need to eliminate.
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Then, have each person cut
an assigned number of names, starting from the bottom of his or
her personal list
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