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Getting
Engaged
It's finally happened --you're
engaged! Whether he popped the question, you extended the offer,
or the two of you came to a joint decision, you're about to embark on
a very exciting - and busy - time in your life. Fantasies that
you've had about your wedding since childhood suddenly become reality,
and as the bride you get ready to enjoy being the center of attention
and the focus of parties, gifts and much happiness for years to come.
Announcing the News
Of course you'll want to share the
news right away, and your families should be the first in line to hear
the announcement. Get together and tell your parents first as
soon as possible. (They may already know if your fiancé informed them
of his intentions beforehand- and ultra-traditional but still
appreciated custom.)
You two should make every effort
to make the announcement to your parents in person. If you
live some distance from them, consider going for a weekend visit with
your fiancé and sharing the news then. Arrange a time soon
after when you can also both be together to tell his family. You
might even consider a fun, celebratory announcement - perhaps at a
family get-together with a cake that declares the news.
Once both families have been
informed about the impending wedding, it's nice for the two sets of
parents to get acquainted. Usually the groom's mother contacts
the bride's and invites them over for dinner or drinks. If some
weeks pass and the bride's parents haven't heard anything, it's
perfectly acceptable for them to extend the invitation instead.
Or the two of you can arrange a get-together - perhaps over Sunday
brunch at a restaurant or cocktails and hors d'oeuvres at your
apartment if the two of you are already sharing living space. If
your parents live in different cities, one of your mothers might
extend a letter with handwritten greetings saying how pleased they are
about the news.
It's customary in many parts of
the country to publish an engagement announcement in the local
newspaper. Since every newspaper will have its own policies on
submitting the information, you should first contact the newspaper's
lifestyle editor to determine the guidelines you must follow.
As a rule, engagement
announcements are published up to a year before the wedding.
The announcement can be made by your parents or by you and your groom.
It should not come from the groom's family, however, even though it
may be published in their hometown paper as well.
Be sure when submitting the
application for a publication that you type the information, otherwise
there's a chance that your handwriting could be misread and the
information published incorrectly. The announcement should
include the full names of you and your fiancé, the names of each set
of parents, the city and state in which the wedding will be held (if
it will take place in a different location from which the announcement
is being published), and the date (or at least the month) when it will
occur. You might also add information about your education and
careers, and many papers will publish an engagement photo as well.
While engagement photos traditionally featured only the bride-to-be,
more and more newspapers are publishing couple photos now, so inquire
about your options. Also, photos are seldom returned, so don't
submit the only copy of your favorite.
Engagement Parties
Chances are, one of your families
will bring up the idea of an engagement party - or the two of you
might decide to throw one yourselves. It's also perfectly appropriate
for each set of parents to host an engagement party if they live in
separate towns and the guest lists will be different.
As a rule, you'll want to invite
both sets of families, nearby relatives, friends who you'll probably
ask to be in the wedding party, and anyone else to whom you're close.
You shouldn't include people you won't be inviting to your wedding,
however.
The party itself can be in a
home, backyard, a restaurant - whatever style of entertaining you
enjoy. Invitations may be printed, handwritten, or extended over
the phone, depending on the size of the group. For an added
element of excitement, you might want to keep the reason for the party
a secret, then announce your news shortly after everyone arrives.
Your guests will be thrilled and enjoy making toasts in your honor!
Engagement Gifts
While you are certainly likely to get
some engagement gifts if a party is thrown in your honor, guests are
not obligated to bring them. Save those presents you do receive
to open later - so as not to embarrass anyone who didn't arrive with a
package in hand - and always follow up promptly with a handwritten
thank-you note.
If a large engagement party is
being planned for you, it is acceptable to register some gift
preferences. Do keep the costs in perspective, however: An
expensive place setting of china or a sterling tea and coffee set is
not likely to be purchased at this time. Some smaller
collectibles or picture frames (to display many photos that will be
taken of the two of you in the coming months!) are more appropriate
choices. |
